In 2000, Eugene, Oregon’s Cherry Poppin’ Daddies recruited legendary producer Tony Visconti - whose credits include classic David Bowie and T. Rex records - to help with the follow-up to their double platinum, swing-themed Zoot Suit Riot. The resulting single, “Diamond Light Boogie”, made nary a ripple in the bog of mainstream radio, but the guitar-shaped swimming pool of Glam and Glitter it and its co-producer represented left an indelible impression on lead singer/songwriter Steve Perry. He began passing over the pinstripes and wing-tips in his closet and reaching instead for puffy shirts and the six-inch silver platform heels he had discovered on the internet while under the influence of Marc Bolan’s poetry. He found himself strangely aroused by eighteenth-century powdered wigs and knee-length pants. He roamed the bars of Eugene, unrecognizable in said attire, and insisted on being called Count d’Monet.

Tapping the Daddies’ guitarist Jason Moss and a who’s who of Eugene dandy rockers – Jivan Valpey of the Passout Kings, solo artist Ed Cole and the Courtesy Clerks’ lord of the power chord Mark Rogers – he started penning songs in which double entendres so tasteless they hardly qualify as such, nestle luridly in the wanting lap of Chuck Berry chord riffs. Performing live, he mixed these new songs with a drop-dead cover of Bowie’s “Moonage Daydream”, whipping up a mania so frenzied that the jocks who normally yell things like “Freebird!” found themselves instead begging their girlfriends for their eyeliner.

Finally, his David Johansen-in-reverse transformation from smoothly masculine R&B crooner to glittering heavy metal belter achieved completion when he named his new band White Hot Odyssey.

White Hot Odyssey
Mojo/Jive/Zomba

This one had me perplexed, ‘cuz the envelope said it was from Steve Perry. The Journey dude? That would have been something, right? Well, it turns out THIS Steve Perry is not the dude from Journey, he’s the dude from the Cherry Poppin’ Daddies, who you may or may not remember as one o’ those retro Zoot suit bands from the ill-fated “Swing” revival in the early 90’s. This explains why W.H.O. is on a major label (sorta – major-minor subsidiary, whatever), but perhaps not why this record rocks in such a (literal) historic fashion. White Hot Odyssey, see, is a super 70’s style glitter rock band. Oh, they may not clomp around in platforms or have stars in their hair (top hats and powdered wigs, however, are most certainly on deck), but they sure the fuck sound like they ought to on this utterly bitchin’ ode to mega-glam. W.H.O. have that same sorta feather boa fuzz n’ soul vibe as the latter-day Makers or Danko Jones, only they infuse it with the big pop hooks of the Sweet and purposely ham-fisted yelp-along choruses of Slade. Toss in the dumb fun sexual innuendos of AC/DC (“Ride the Snake”, “Lick the Pole”, “Spit It Up”) and you’ve got the perfect prescription for a glamtastic trip in the wayback machine.

Highlights? Man, drop the needle (ok, laser) anywhere. Like the monstrous opener, “Good Head” (not the Turbo-tune), for example. Imagine Marc Bolan fronting Grand Funk, why don’t ya. Then there’s “Subway Killer”, which sounds like “Black Diamond” almost as much as it sounds like “I Just Wanna Sniff Some Glue” – and believe me, that ain’t easy. Or maybe “Hot Tub Party”, which is like…like a really, really manly Bay City Rollers. And that’s just off the top of my head. Suffice to say, if you’ve got a hankering to do the Bolan Boogie, just slip on some stackheels and strut along to these crazee sounds, mama.

-Sleazegrinder

FOCUS ON THE FAMILY CRITICIZED IN SEX SCANDAL

AP, EUGENE – Scandal rocked the religious right – literally – when sources close to the organization Focus on the Family confirmed rumors that Ministers employed a “Glam” band to test the resolve of teenage girls who had taken a virginity pledge.

“The problem is not that they hired the band,” said the source, speaking on the condition of anonymity. “It’s that the idea backfired so badly. I mean, very few of the girls who saw the band perform went home virgins”.

The band in question is White Hot Odyssey, a Eugene, OR group known for its rock and roll look and provocative lyrics. Dr. James Debson, Focus on the Family’s leader and spokesman, approved the plan to use the band as part of the “Virginity Rocks” program.

 “We saw a video of the band and found them horribly offensive, yet somehow strangely transfixing. The sexuality in the music, words and physical movements of the band members was undeniable – which made them perfect for what we were trying to achieve. If we were going to test these girls, we had to go all the way…so to speak.”

Debson and others chose White Hot Odyssey after a lengthy, hard process of reviewing pop videos. “We gave strong consideration to Prince, as well as a number of Latin acts,” Dobson recounted. “But White Hot Odyssey just simply out-sexed them all.”

Apparently the band was more effective than organizers anticipated.

“They walked onstage and the girls went crazy,” said the source, who was nearly crushed as the crowd surged forward when the band began its first song, “Good Head”. “I was consumed with trying to get back on my feet,” he recalled, “and I didn’t even realize that three girls were, ah, fellating the drummer as he sang the song’s final chorus”.

Drummer Jivan Valpey remembers the incident clearly. “I had never, ever once come from head,” the dark-haired percussionist insisted, “until that day. It happened right when I hit the last cymbal crash in the first tune.” He grinned at the memory. “I played the f**k out of that ending. It was ripper”.

One of the guitar players allegedly had intercourse ten times during the forty-five minute set. “I f****d the first two or three chicks without missing a note,” Mark Rogers claimed, ”but around the fourth or fifth I started losing my concentration. By the seventh or eighth I was just plain blowing it.” Anger flickered in the lenses of his black-framed glasses, then a look of satisfaction. “So I backed off, j****d off, and f****d the other two.”

Lead singer Steve Perry and bassist Ed Cole spent most of the set in a rotating “four-way”, swinger slang for sexual intercourse involving four persons. Second guitarist Jason Moss, who is married, was the only one who claims to have abstained. “My wife is hot”, he said proudly, “and I know she’ll be reading this. So, no, I didn’t do anything”. The other band members backed up his claim.

“That’s bull***t”, said the source, in reference to Moss’s account. “He eventually just disappeared underneath a pile of naked girls,” he claimed. “But through it all he played brilliantly, employing both the major and minor pentatonic scales in ways I’ve never heard. Sort of like Randy Rhodes after a year in New Orleans”.
           
None of the girls was available for comment, though one former virgin’s mother said her daughter is doing great. “For my money the program was a success. She had been really difficult, tense and uncommunicative. Now she feels alive, to use her exact words. Born again.”

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